Thursday, May 6, 2010

Rotten Biblical Fruit

Rotten Biblical Fruit

Someone told me that the bible is a great way to know if you are living a good life. They told me that contained within the bible is a lifestyle that is guaranteed to make your life better. I asked if killing non-believers and their children would make them happy and they told me that is not in the bible. I lack the memory to recall the verses, but it’s in there. I asked if incest was going to make me happy and they told me that I was taking the bible out of context. I asked how I was supposed to know what context to take the bible, and they told me I needed to study the bible.

For an instruction manual, this book sucks. Apparently, the instruction manual needs an instruction manual. Imagine a cookbook that told you to measure a half cup of flour, but if you are homosexual, you should not use flour, and if it is the Sabbath day (whatever that is) you should use ¾ cup of flour. Then, later, the cookbook says to ignore the cup completely and said to use the metric system instead. It also told you there is only one way to bake this bread, and if you get it wrong, it will kill you. A best seller in the making, I’m sure.

It seems to me that this “biblical study” crap is an exercise in mental aerobics. This is the class where you get to stretch your logic to the breaking point and back. Here you learn that the bible doesn’t mean what it says; no, it means the opposite. Slavery is bad, the bible says so, if you read it properly and twist the context into something completely different than what is written.

Any cookbook that tells you there is only one recipe for anything is full of shit. The bible wants us to eats a candy-coated, batter-dipped, deep fried dog turd and ask for seconds. No, thanks. It still tastes like crap to me. How anyone can swallow that with a straight face is beyond me. Must be an acquired taste.

No comments:

Post a Comment